Jeremiah 31:27-34 CEB I love those old sayings. You know, the ones used at a drop of a hat to make a complex point in just a sentence: One man's junk is another man's treasure. A friend in need is a friend indeed. A penny saved is a penny earned. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll eat forever. We have something in common with the israelites, they had their own sayings too! Most of them were collected and put into a book we know today as the book of Proverbs. Yet even with this book some of those saying didn't make the final cut, even though they still found a way to make it into the bible . One of those cutting room floor quotes can be found in verse 29 of our text today. The parents have eaten sour grapes and their children's teeth have been set on edge. It makes my mouth uncomfortable every time I read it. It makes me think of when you get a baked potato wrapped in aluminium foil but you fail to remove all the foil before taking a bite... it's that terrible feeling of the metal touching fillings. I digress. Just like our sayings today the Israelite Proverb says something complex in an easier way. Let’s backtrack, a lot! The Israelites have been freed from Egyptian bondage. They have recently arrived to their new home, the wilderness, when Moses makes a trip up to the mountain to work with God on a few rules or commandments. For those of you who remember the story, before Moses even returns with the new commands the people had already broken one of them, specifically: You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them and worship them. Because Moses had spent so much time on that darn mountain, they people began to feel God was no longer with them so they crafted a calf from their gold and began to worship it. Not a good start especially with that particular commandment. See, it continues: For I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me. Ouch. It is a strong claim and one that is mirrored in the book of Numbers: The Lord, is slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the parents upon the children to the third and fourth generation.’ So the Israelite phrase: The parents have eaten sour grapes means the people have sinned/transgressed/whatever foul phrase you would like to add here. The children’s teeth are set on edge means the future generations are being punished for the sins of their ancestors. A nice way to say everything that has already been said: be wary what you do today or it might play negatively on your family’s future. So now that we have backtracked, let’s go forward to today’s scripture. The Israelites in Jeremiah are not the Israelites who first received the commandments. These are the fourth and fifth and so on generation of those Israelites. The proverb, which was written as a warning, was not directly meant for this group of people. It was written as a reminder of God’s commandment and to keep focus for the sake of the children and the children’s children. For the Israelites of Jeremiah they were not even concerned about the first part of the proverb. They were the children to the third and fourth generation. One of the reasons they did not want to listen to Jeremiah was this proverb. In their minds there was nothing they could do to stop God’s “wrath” for they were suffering from their parent’s indiscretions. You know, the story of the God and the people is a beautiful tale even if the Israelites didn't see it that way. Here are a people who were almost hopeless. They were going to lose everything. Time and time again God gave them chances but they kept fouling up. But that is just the surface. The Israelites cast a graven image and worship it- God has Moses recast the commandments and start over. The people act out in the wilderness- God moves from the mountain to reside with the people in a tent. Once in the promised land the people start worship false gods again. God sends prophet after prophet to the people. Yes, by chapter 31 in Jeremiah the last nail has already been nailed in the coffin, the Babylonians are going to conquer Israel and exile her people. However, in my opinion, this is the most beautiful section of Jeremiah. The Israelites thought Jeremiah had been yelling out judgment when really he was singing salvation. No, they could not stop what was coming but God could recast it. A new covenant was written- not in stone in some building in the middle of Jerusalem but on each individual heart. This chapter in Jeremiah marks the time when God not only resided with the people but in the people. God was no longer just a God for a group but also for the person. Before, God would only reside in the temple to be visited by the priests who would act on behalf of all of Israel. In this one chapter, God tears down the walls and we become the temple. We can know God because God is within us. Jeremiah was a glorious bitter-sweet mess with more bitter than sweet. Here is your sweet. Perhaps the book of Jeremiah is not a particularly redemptive story for the people of Israel but it is for God. This chapter marks a turning point. God lives within us, each of us. When we cannot live in the house of God the house of God lives in us. This message kinda hits me in a bittersweet way. I love the church. I live for the rites and rituals that happen every Sunday morning. Back before I moved to Georgia the first time I asked the minister if I could spend an hour alone in the church praying. When I moved back to Georgia the second time I was most distraught I didn't have the church to go to. This was amplified when I returned to Georgia and found myself saying goodbye to the particular church I attended in school. I felt so disconnected. The people need a place to connect. The people need a way to communicate and know there are others they can talk to. It is also nice to know in exile God is still there. Our heart becomes God's temple, and the actions that affect that temple the most are my own. I pray that I keep my temple as clean and as pure as possible so it can be a proper place for the divine to live. If not, I pray God can help me tidy it up a bit. Either way, I am grateful God is there with me. Like what you are reading? 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Psalm 137 CEB Below is the transcript of the sermon. If you prefer reading, please at least listen to the scripture. This week means a few things to me. * It is world Communion Sunday. I love communion. Personally, it is the symbol in in the Christian faith I connect to the most. * It also broke my ankle three years ago, almost to the day. I can remember the congregation I worked for had this step to get up to the pulpit. I would have to jump the step every Sunday with my crutches. * Finally, my sister has been doing some digging and it has dug up the old feelings I had buried. Our recent conversations and our Psalm tie together. See, for about a year to a year and a half, we lived in a very broken home. My Dad and Mom divorced. My mom won custody but she was an unfit mother. It is sad to say that. She wants to believe she was super-mom. She was most definitely not. She married an abusive drunk and spent the child support on alcohol and a vintage truck. So much happened in that brief time. I can encapsulate it in one sentence. As children, we lost weight during that time, and I have struggled to socially connect ever since. My sister and I have chosen two different ways to deal with that time. I have begun to bury. My sister, she dug up. That is what she did this past weekend. She dug everything up. She asked questions, she visited gravestones and previous places we used to live. She sat with Dad's attorney from years ago and looked through the court records. The only thing she hasn't done is engage my mom. She is the 'least of these' we read so much about. As ministers, my sister and I, we struggle because we know this. We struggle because we are dealing with a situation where we were damaged by our mom and we know mom needs our love. Believe me, there are times I hear this Psalm and I think about my exile in a small bedroom in Missouri with the only release was school. Today I am struggling. I am struggling personally, and with a culture that doesn't know what to do with us, any of us. We live in a culture where we don't like broken. We don't know how to deal with it. It is much easier to relate with the new, and healthy. Advertising is one of the biggest culprits. Through commercials happiness is found by throwing away the old and discarding the broken. This is counter to our nature, because if you were to go shopping today for anything from shoes to furniture, it wouldn't be difficult to find products that have been aged or distressed. We want well worn seasoned products. We just don't know what to do with those products when they break. Sadly, the same is often true of people. Society does not know how to deal with broken people. No, I'm not talking about cuts, bruises, and broken bones. I'm talking about broken souls. Souls cannot be fixed with ointment, casts, and titanium pins. Oh, we love fixed people who were once broken. Everyone loves a good story about the homeless man who became the millionaire or the drug addict who turned his life around to become a famous preacher. A prodigal son of sorts. (I mention these two examples because they are real. I just sited The Pursuit of Happyness and the son of Billy Graham, Franklin Graham.) Still, we don't like the messiness of a broken person. Broken people are often shunned by society. As a defense, of sorts, broken people cover or hide their brokenness. This doesn't solve their woundedness and could make the situation worse. We are a culture who likes to hide things. We hide our trash and bury our secrets. When I think of hiding things I think of Disney World. They have a whole system of underground tunnels just so they don't have to show people emptying the trash or delivering goods. The park looks perfect because everything messy is done underground. So this is what can be so distressing about Psalm 137. The pain, the wounded and brokenness is not hidden. It is right there for all to read. This is not a happy Psalm. Not here. Historically speaking the Babylonians conquered Israel and took the elite and well to do back to Babylon. This was standard Babylonian practice. Leave a people in their land and they might rise up. Take them out and they stay oppressed. The voices of this particular Psalm were probably the Levites. They were known for being the temple musicians. It was probably written after the exile was over and the Levites had the opportunity to reflect and write songs about their experience. They were not expressing empty anger. According to the Psalm, the Babylonians had asked them to sing a song of Zion. Songs of Zion were specifically meant to be sung in Zion. Whether the Babylonians knew it or not they were pouring salt into the Israelite wound. In particular, there are some Psalms of Zion that would have deeply hurt: Psalm 48 for example. “The city of our God: God makes her secure forever.” Well, at the point in Psalm 137 they knew God's temple was not going to last forever because it was already destroyed. It would have hurt to sing such a song to the very people responsible for tearing it down. The Babylonian request to sing a song would have come across as a taunt. Still, it is difficult to hear that last: “Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock.” If we ended right now we would all be in a bad place. This is a Psalm about a bad part of the Israelite history ended in a rather terrible way. What can we do with this? I suggest we turn to Luke 12:3. “Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.” As I was reminded earlier this week, this verse can be very uncomfortable. We tend to be a bit more honest in private. We say things we might not want the world to know. Luke 12:3 suggests nothing, even our dirty laundry will be hidden. I will admit, I'm a little intimidated by that. But, there is a good side to this verse I am sure few think about and it relates directly to Psalm 137. The voices of the broken and sick are often muted or are not loud enough for society to hear. Sometimes those you have been spiritually wounded or are spiritually sick choose to remain silent for fear of the stigma attached admitting they might not be well or whole. Luke 12:3 becomes something beautiful and glorious for these people. People who are afraid to speak out loud and whisper: I am hurt. I am in pain. I am angry. God wants, no, needs those voices to be brought out of the darkness and into the light. Not so they can be reprimanded, but helped. See, acting on vengeance in the world is clearly wrong, but that is not what this Psalm is about. This Psalm is about being the ears to someone's voice. God loves us in our pain too. God wants us to find wholeness so we can celebrate making it through the darkness into the light. Psalm 137 reminds us we need to be open to hearing the pain and woundedness of others. It is that simple. Sometimes just listening can help someone on the road to wholeness. Today is World Communion Sunday. Congregations all over the world are celebrating communion today whether they are like us, and partake every week, or have communion every quarter or only on special holidays. Communion is the symbol for today's scripture. Jesus gave us the perfect symbol. The communion table is broken and made whole again. Jesus took brokenness and redeemed it. He took a bunch of broken people around a table and made it OK to be broken. (Acceptance of our brokenness is part of the healing process.) Jesus took on brokenness to the extreme and came through on the other side. But brokenness had to exist for the the healing to exist. Today we celebrate our brokenness instead of throwing it away. Today we allow ourselves to be open instead of buried. We do this because God taught us love, and sometimes love is just an open ear. Like what you are reading? Join the conversation on Reddit! http://www.reddit.com/r/FigTreeChristian/ . There you can also share blogs and articles that extend the discussion, or just add to the discussion on this meditation. Either way, look forward to seeing you there!
Luke 15:1-10 CEB If you want to be successful on the internet here is a must: Stick to one side of the spectrum. Don't ever sway from that spectrum. If you can't do that and want to live in the middle, make sure to do it without really speaking your voice. Say a bunch of something without saying anything at all. People don't want to hear your opinion. They want their opinion validated. In this realization, we must be in trouble here. I have never been concerned with following the hard line of right or left, liberal or conservative, traditional or radical. I have been far more concerned in trying to get it right, even if what is right might draw ire from those who just want to hear the right words to validate something they already believe is true. Oops. For those of you who are here every week, you already know I immerse myself in prayer with this question: If Jesus had the internet, how would he interact with it? I have a growing realization he would probably be ignored. See, he never spoke to try to validate an already believed point. He said what was right. He hardened his resolve over and beyond hardening his heart. I have this growing realization Jesus would have trouble getting the page hits to his website, because he couldn't pick that group or person to ostracize. (I have to note, I know some really great bloggers. This is not indicative of all who share on the internet, just a realization of a very popular method of how writers get hits to their websites.) His words still angered and ostracized people, but those people chose to cut themselves from the message. They were not cut out of the conversation by the message. There are two truths I pull from this scripture. I realize focusing on one over the other would garner more shares and likes. These two truths come from both sides of the spectrum and accepting both require opening your heart over and beyond your ideology. (BTW-We all have ideologies.) She is GodHere is a crazy idea: the woman in the parable is an illustration for God. I know, it is hard to wrap your head around.Those who have spent the greater part of their lives in church, might have only heard masculine language for God. It's difficult to hear Jesus might have used a female illustration to describe Her. In this case, like other Luken moments, Jesus shares two parables, one featuring a male and one featuring a female. Both the parables share the same message, so why tell the same story twice? I say culture. The first parable uses an understood image for God, the good shepherd. People could easily see this There would be no need to share the second parable. Yet, he does. This a moment where the image of God is expanded. God is like a woman who lost a coin. Scandalous. Not the middle of the road message either side of the listening body could easily take. For a masculine centered world, the sinners in the audience would have turned an ear while being taken aback. For a Pious rule-following elite, this would have angered the religious body in the audience beyond their initial anger. So, what can we take from duality of the parables? We are all images of God. Male and Female- we are all made in God's image.God comes to us as the widow, the wife and those who are considered less than. This is about 100%This isn't an all or nothing game, because sometimes the money is lost. Sometimes the wolves devour the sheep before the Shepherd can find it. This is an all for the sake of all game. It means we celebrate when the sheep is found, and mourn when the coin is actually lost. There is no room for, "Well, they will get what's coming to them." There is no anger in this game. There is only joy or remorse. I clearly see the Occupy Wallstreet movement in opposition to this scripture. I wrote about it months ago, and my opinion stands. The difference between then and now is I believe I can articulate my beliefs better. We need to realize who we are 'othering,' or setting apart from everyone else. Are we the ones throwing the sheep out into the wilderness; dropping the coin behind the dresser? The Occupy movement gives this perception like we should cut off the 1%. They are lost without any hope for redemption. What the Occupy movement did for Christianity was gave us a group to shine the light one and search for. In reality the Occupy movement has brought the radical truth of this parable to the forefront. Sometimes the one is the rich, powerful, and elite. God wants this group to find salvation too. As humans we all have those people who we would rather leave in the wilderness. The religious elite in the parable pointed to sinners. I struggle with those who have inflicted mental scars on me personally. I didn't cause the inflictors to be lost, but I sometimes wish the people who have caused those wounds would simply stay behind the dresser. Yet, God, merciful loving God, wants us all. The wounder and wounded. The poor and the rich. The sinner and the 'pious.' God wants redemption for everyone and everyone is made in the image of God. Maybe, at least, we can all get behind that. For, "joy breaks out in the presence of God’s angels over one sinner who changes both heart and life.” Like what you are reading? Join the conversation on Reddit! http://www.reddit.com/r/FigTreeChristian/ . There you can also share blogs and articles that extend the discussion, or just add to the discussion on this meditation. Either way, look forward to seeing you there! Also, if you are in the Atlanta area consider coming to the planning on Sunday, October 6th . For more information check out Upcoming Events! Tissot, James Jacques Joseph, 1836-1902. Lost Drachma, from Art in the Christian Tradition, a project of the Vanderbilt Divinity Library, Nashville, TN. http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl?RC=54791 [retrieved September 15, 2013]. Original source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Brooklyn_Museum_-_The_Lost_Drachma_(La_drachme_perdue)_-_James_Tissot_-_overall.jpg.
Luke 12:49-56 CEB I love cast iron skillets. My love began back when I was a camp staffer at Christmount. We were leading a mountain camp and decided to cook breakfast over the fire one morning, and I wanted to cook it on a cast iron skillet. Not having any idea what I was getting into, I went to downtown Black Mountain and purchased one. Did I stress that I had no idea what I was doing? Cast iron has to be seasoned before it can be used. After it is seasoned it takes on a black hue. My skillet was silver. It was brand-spankin' new. Luckily for me, Jamie Brame, my boss stepped in and helped me out. He, almost gleefully, took my skillet and seasoned it for me. Thanks to him our Mountain Camp had breakfast over a fire, and I vowed never to cook something as messy as eggs again during a camping trip. I loved that skillet. No one was allowed to cook or clean it except me. Often, after cleaning it, I would allow it to sit on the stove instead of in the cabinet. All my food tasted better when cooked with the gleaming black glory I called my skillet. Then one day it happened. While I was out, a cleaning lady came and completely sanitized and scrubbed the kitchen from top to bottom. She knew nothing of cast iron and assumed the skillet must be dirty if it was sitting on the stove. She scrubbed it clean and left it wet in the sink. (Seasoning does two things: it creates a non-stick surface, and it keeps the iron from rusting.) I came home and my black skillet was red. The whole thing was rusted. I was devastated. I tried to fix it, but I did not have the talent. It was gone. With as much dignity as I could muster, I gathered up the sad remains of my skillet. Later that night, alone in the backyard, I buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of "Taps" being played. Gently. At least that is how I remember it. The father from a Christmas Story and I can cry together over our losses. While I no longer own that particular skillet, I now own four other cast iron skillets of varying sizes. They were either purchased, inherited, or given to me since that dreadful day I lost my first one. Of the four, I seasoned one myself. I did it recently, and while I did I thought about the process. Seasoning a skillet means cooking the oil onto the surface. It really seems to be a backwards process. It permanently makes the skillet dirty in order to make it usable for life. Anyone who is heavily into sanitizing and cleaning probably wouldn't like to own their own cast iron skillet. A cast iron skillet continues to season for life. So every time you cook, you are cooking more oils onto the skillet. Howard Hughes, stay away. It's not for him. In the same way I look at the scripture and see the backwards nature of Jesus' words. Jesus doesn't like peace? He wants us all to burn? What?! Is this the same Jesus who said, “Happy are people who make peace, because they will be called God’s children?” (Matt 5:9) Don't get me wrong, but is this the same Savior who rebuked the Disciples for suggesting raining down fire on the Samaritans like Elijah did? Why is he suggesting such an action now? This is not the scripture for the staunch pacifist, who believes division is bad at any cost. The scripture reminds me of seasoning a skillet. It reminds me of a skillet because to gain something worthwhile and special, something odd and backwards needs to be done first: We must speak out and say what is wrong. Today, this has taken the face of traditional and secular ideas going against one another. Mainline and Evangelical voices expressing their distaste for one another's worship style and age brackets sharing how other age brackets are failing to meet their needs. This all comes together and we have a fire beginning to kindle. In my mind, it is the exact kind of fire Jesus wants. It is the type of fire that brings healthy conflict to a head where it can be dealt with. So here is the problem. We clearly have this fire beginning to kindle, but this fire can go in one of two directions. If it goes the right way it can season the beginnings of a new chapter for Christianity. We will turn this dissonance into a cadence that will bring our songs together. We will create a safe place where all these voices can be heard. In that arena the next question will naturally be, “Now what?” We will start to experiment and try out spiritual ideas to see if something can stitch, or stick us back together. It will lead to a spiritual enlightenment. Or... we refuse to contain our fire and it burns out of control. We disconnect more than we have ever disconnected. The Body of Christ burns up and ceases to exist. Instead of the healthy flame of renewal, we get the wildfire of destruction. So let me ask the question: Now what? Now we try things! Feel like people would connect over coffee? Start a coffee fellowship! Connect over music styles. Attempt to create a show that will help those outside 'church' find connection. And celebrate when others make an attempt, no matter how crazy that attempt is! Discover the next step by simply giving it a shot. What if you fail? Well, most of us will. Failure is always an option. Yet, I have learned through Fig Tree Christian, failure is simply being able to check off what doesn't work. The important piece to all of this is to keep connecting through our disagreements. For God's sake, let the voices be heard. Let your voice be heard. Speak up! Listen! So many have stopped talking because they have been hurt by the other voices online. I, personally, have been deeply hurt through the internet. Some people have said some cruel things to me. Yet, I have celebrated in those pains because communication happened in those moments. I have learned to put down my sword and pick up my doctor's kit. This lesson didn't happen because I was at peace in my life. This lesson happened because I was at odds with the very people God called me to love. While my faith journey has left me 'well seasoned,' I look around me and see our collective faith has been left to rust. It's time to clean this up and fix it the right way. So get out there. Listen to the stories of others, and try stuff out. If someone calls you crazy, who cares? John the Baptist kinda looked like a nut too. If we don't pull this dissonance together, it will all burn up before it has ever begun. The Christian story will only exist as a story we tell our grandkids. "Ah, remember when we gathered together and worshipped God in a church?" Now what? For God's sake, go find out. Like what you are reading? Join the conversation on Reddit! http://www.reddit.com/r/FigTreeChristian/ . There you can also share blogs and articles that extend the discussion, or just add to the discussion on this meditation. Either way, look forward to seeing you there!
Matthew 26:26-30 CEB You would never know this but I struggle with Fig Tree Christian all the time. I wrestle with my thoughts in prayer. I constantly bring my questions about what the next step is to God. Most importantly, I wonder what the heck I am doing and how I am going to do it! So one of my humongous prayers was related to communion. Now, if you are part the Christian Church tradition, whether that's the Independent Christian Church, Disciples of Christ, or Church of Christ, communion is key. Every time you gather as a worshiping community you have communion. Fig Tree Christian, as non-church like as it is, is a congregation in formation within the Christian Church, (Disciples of Christ.) We are on the Georgia Disciples website as a congregation in formation. Fig Tree was celebrated at the General Assembly last week as a congregation in formation. Yet.... we do not have communion and I have no idea what communion would look like in this format! Even posing the question, what would Jesus do if he had the internet at his disposal has left little to no insight in regards to communion. That was until I was sucker punched in the stomach with a blog posted last week: The Myth of Extending the Table by Anderson Campbell It is a really good read and it hit me hard. I knew it was something important to my personal faith journey when, this morning, I came across it for the fourth time! Even though it was never Campbell who sent me the link nor do I even know the man, I wanted to email him this morning and tell him, "Hey, I get it. Can you please stop beating this message into me?" But, it hit different this morning. It hit in a way where it was a K.O. and I saw it with another perspective. The first three times I saw it for what it was. You cannot just pull up chairs to an already established table. The "new" person is still the outsider no matter how much you want their voice to count, or how much you want them to be equal at the table. That was dramatic enough when someone like me, who professes an open table where everyone is invited, realizes an open table is really only as open as the community sitting around it. Even if the outsider is invited in, if the table isn't rebuilt for inclusion, it is still excluding them. And, as I wrote on my personal facebook page: Three times I realized the table becomes exclusionary the minute it is set for guests. Every Sunday we limit the table the second we come to it. No. That wasn't true either. The table is limited way before then. The table is limited when the community serving and worshipping at it decide what it is going to look like and builds it. So many churches decide the table in the beginning. The fourth time I saw the post it hit me. Jesus waited to build the table at the end, not the beginning.
Jab. Jab. Jab. Right hook. K.O. Oh, it got me good. What I'm going to say next is going to sound crazy coming from a fourth generation Disciple of Christ. Brace yourself. Jesus built the table through the journey. As he invited the disciples, and others, to join him he was building the table. As he healed and taught he was building the table. It was only as Jesus' journey was coming to a close and the real work was about to begin the table was finally set and communion happened. Baptism first. Communion last. Fig Tree isn't at a stage to begin communion because we are still building. I suggest any new congregational start should refrain from communion. Walk Jesus' path to grow and learn. Build the table with teaching and healing. Once that is done. Once a congregation is no longer in formation, celebrate with communion. Otherwise you are jumping into something before it is ready. I would say the same is true with congregations going through renewal and redevelopment. The table has to be dismantled and rebuilt. Stop communion until the community knows who and what they are. Otherwise you are never truly in redevelopment because you are still serving communion built at a table meant for a congregation 10, 20, 50 years ago. See where I am? See how huge this is for a Disciple who yearns for weekly communion? The table is always limited. We cannot change that. Yet, if we are willing to build the table correctly, from the journey, and not just throw it together at the beginning, we will only be excluding those who are not there. We will have a place for everyone who wants to participate. Fig Tree Christian does not have communion yet because we haven't finished building the table. As we grow and learn we will move from a congregation in formation to a worshipping body of believers. Pray with us as we try to understand what that is. It was Saturday morning in Panama City, Florida. I had arrived three days before with my husband, children, and my in-laws. Every morning we waited until 9:00am to get into the pool located just outside our back room. I wondered why we waited until 9. Across from the pool was a dilapidated old sign which said the pool opened at 8am. Why were we waiting until 9am? I just didn't know. Then Saturday morning came. We all rose early because my toddler woke extra early waking the whole motel room. My husband informed me everyone was just waiting for 9am to hit so we could get into the pool. That was when I finally revealed the sign I had been staring for the past half week. He followed by pointing out a newer sign at the far side of the pool that showed the pool opened at 9am. How did I miss that? I just didn't know.
Listening in on our conversation that morning was the pool guy, quietly cleaning while we talked. I was back in the room he turned his attention to the others and said, "The pool is clean if you want to go in." So at 8:15am, 45 minutes before we were technically allowed to go in and 15 minutes after I thought we had permission, we went to the pool. Oh it was fun. No one dared to enter with us. Kids begged their parents. We saw at least a dozen, sitting on their back porch staring at us. They would turn to their parents and ask to swim but the parents told their kids we were breaking rules. They had to follow the rules to be better than us rule breakers. For 45 minutes the pool belonged to only us. It was glorious. It made me wonder about the bible. (Which isn't a stretch for me, everything eventually goes back to faith and God when my mind is involved.) Our biblical understanding typically comes in three forms. None of these forms are completely wrong and none are completely right. They are just something to think about.
So I guess that is what I learned. Just be more open. Maybe we will teach someone something new through our openness. Maybe we will learn something new by being open Romans 12:9-16 CEB Right now my daughter sits and watches Sesame Street while she slowly drinks her milk. She is 19 months old. From her birth she has lived in two states, and four houses. Unlike my 6 year old son, she has never received a baby dedication because we never had a physical church to call home. My heart breaks a little each time I see the dedication outfit, now too small for her to ever wear. It breaks a little more when I realize I can always pinpoint how far I am from my most tragic moment of faith based on how old she is.
Twenty months ago I was a full time minister in a small rural church. During my 1 1/2 year tenure I had spent months without my son and husband by my side, I had broken my ankle, and 20 months ago was pregnant. I can still remember the exact thought that kept crossing my mind twenty months ago: "Now I can really get things done. I will not be broken or pregnant. I can go and do more than I have done before." I so wanted to give all I could to the church, I had finished two months of sermons in advance, working through them on my day off. I had only a little vacation time because I had to use some the previous year so we could sell our town home, and I was saving four days for Christmas break. I was pregnant, tired, and I was not taking maternity. No one had offered and I never felt it was my place to ask. Then, a week after my daughter was born, I was pulled into a room with a few of the Elders and told it just wasn't working out. I had done everything they had asked of me, but it just wasn't a good fit. As the weeks continued many in the congregation were surprised. It seemed everything was working well. They came to me upset and wanted me to personally know they had nothing to do with the decision. There were even a contingent who left. The story concocted to justify my departure continued to change as the Elders realized their reasoning really wasn't sound. My favorite comment was said by someone unrelated to the church who will remain anonymous, "Usually a church has a little more grace." With the help of the Church Secretary I did research, sifting through decades of board notes, to see the awful truth: This congregation had a history of exploding, and asking for resignations of ministers since 1978. Matthew 23:37-39 rang in my head and I wept: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem! You who kill the prophets and stone those who were sent to you. How often I wanted to gather your people together, just as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings. But you didn’t want that. Look, your house is left to you deserted. I tell you, you won’t see me until you say, Blessings on the one who comes in the Lord’s name.” In the beginning, there were days I was rolled up into a ball mourning and crying. I always kept my faith in God but my faith in humanity failed. More importantly, my faith in the congregation had failed. It was my ultimate crisis of faith. When I struggled with family issues as a child, I ran to the congregation for support. When my 21 year old friend died from cancer, I ran to the congregation for support. When other friends suffered the same fate, I turned to the church. During spiritual famine, it was the church who became the well I could run to. So it had been until 19 months ago. Nineteen months ago the well was poisoned. Now, there are some awesome congregations out there. After everything happened I served at an extremely small congregation who normally took student pastors. Their theological well dried out when Lexington Theological Seminary closed their doors to physical students. This tiny group of people were so loving and caring. I wanted to give them more than two months of my life. I would have if I stayed in the area. Yet, as more churches suffer loss or are damaged, the pool of good churches will start to dwindle. The people who really could heal the issue will just leave. There was one couple I begged to stay at the church. Even as the congregation had hurt my family and myself, I wanted the congregation to find restoration. Restoration could only happen with dedicated Christians to lead it. This couple still left. They could not do it. Flash forward to a couple of weeks ago. As y'all know I have felt a different kind of call. It has been through the above experience God has stepped in and given me an option. A little over six months ago I began this internet ministry. I felt called to reach the people who have felt the pain of the institution of church in a real way. To reach those who are not going to easily step into a sanctuary on a Sunday morning. As you already know, I have been struggling with what a true internet ministry looks like. Through prayer I believe Fig Tree can't look like a worship service. It can't look the way it has looked for the past 65 years.
Well, two weeks ago I was invited to join a group: The Despised Ones. It is a rather new group. It is filled with bloggers and online writers who feel set apart from what church has been. Members have been posting to their community, sharing what it means to be part of it. My time to share has come. The first obvious truth is in the face of my 19 month old toddler. She is a happy child who smiles and laughs all the time. The first truth is, there is hope. Despite what we are and what we have been through, there is always hope that tomorrow will be a better day with better choices made. There is also always knowledge that something good can be taken from the muck given to you. I left with a daughter. I would go through the entire experience again if it gained me that precious life. The second truth, one of the key reasons I accepted my place among the 'Despised,' is realizing I am a despiser. When I left the aforementioned church I heard congregants say, "Well, it happened again." There were those who knew this thing happened in the church and they were the silent group who were against it but did nothing to stop it. It crushed me to know status quo was more appropriate than what was right. It crushed me even more because on further reflection I could pinpoint in my past where it was easier for me to stay silent than fight for what was right. I was part of the problem when I chose to do nothing. There were people from my past who needed someone to be their voice when so many were voiceless. Nineteen months ago I swore, never again. Never again will I remain silent while others suffer. I am despised because it took being the one in pain to see how I have hurt others in pain. I was part of the problem. The third truth lies in Paul. Paul wrote the letter to the Romans in jail. His time was nearly up. He was going to be executed. If anyone knows what it means to be despised, it was him. In his darkest hour I hear his words, "Bless the people who harass you- bless and don't curse them." At the eve of his death love was the answer. I can live in this internet wilderness because this wilderness takes on an almost scandalous version of love. We should love the ones who despise us. We should love our despised brothers and sisters. We should love ourselves, as despised as we are. We are called to be lights when the world darkens. We are called to be salt to bring out the goodness in our existence. We are called to this at the edge of a sharpened pen. With great humility I accept my place in this community. I am a despised one. As a member of this group I shall end with this: To the church I served. I know there are some of you who quietly follow what I am doing and so I write this to you. On a cold February morning I forgave you. I still forgive you. Every day I feel my heart harden I soften it with forgiveness. I call you out by name in my prayers and say I forgive you. So, I do not wish to do that today. I wish to share my hope. I hope you find the person God is calling to you and listen and learn from that person. I hope with that special person, a person you do not call but God does, you will find the healing your church has needed for 3.5 decades. I hope your healing spreads like a wildfire to other hurt congregations. I want the best for you so you may be gathered by God like a hen gathers her chicks. No matter how everything went down, you are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Beyond death, that truth remains. I love you. Like what you are reading, consider subscribing at the top right of the page. Also, consider participating in our Bible Study- An introduction to the bible using the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. It is currently underway, under the Bible Study Tab.
Acts 1:1-11 CEB As someone new to the video world, I try to be off the cuff as possible. I had mentioned that the tip didn't matter in regards to the good ministerial table. I wish to amend that statement. The tip, and how you tip is the most obvious way to show the person serving that they did a good, decent or bad job. It is always important. Restaurant servers makes between 2-4 dollars an hour, with many paying part of their tips to the kitchen and hostess staff. When evangelizing to your server remember the famous words of St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the gospel at all times. When necessary use words." The Gospel is alive and we show it in all things that we do, including tipping.
Luke 2:22-40 CEB Below text is edited. For complete text click the scripture reference to the left. Expectation and anticipation. Those are difficult words for today's culture to grasp. We live in a society where our answers are no more than a smartphone away. Getting what we want is no further than a 5-20 minutes drive to a super center. I can remember a time when I thought it was cool to get a coloring page from a website and it only took 1-2 minutes for the page to load and just about as long for it to print out. There was a time when people ordered goods from a catalog and maybe 2-3 weeks later the item would arrive. And people saved up their money in tins and jars months in advance to purchase those items. Expectation and anticipation were vitally important once. We replaced those words with immediate gratification. We have trouble living in expectation because expectation means the answers and actions haven't arrived yet. Anticipating leaves us frustrated and anxious. When everything is in one's hands now, 'later' is only something to lose patience over.
Simeon and Anna help us understand the joy in expectation and anticipation. Simeon spent his life anticipating a restoration of Israel. Anticipating is a waiting game. We teach our children a form of anticipation when when start putting presents under the Christmas Tree and tell them they cannot open them until December 25th. That anticipation is only days away while Simeon had to wait a lifetime. Real and good change is difficult to accomplish on a short term scale so it requires anticipation. It is a lesson I am witness to. For anyone who seriously wants to hear my call story I always explain it as the slow and steady path. God has never given me the road side visitation. I haven't been transformed with blinding truth. God's patience has slowly moved me in the right direction. As I look back on my life I see the small moments where God's small still voice has influenced my choices. It took a lifetime to get me to the point where I would be ready to start a church. Yet, when I decided to begin the new church start journey I initially thought it had to be done quickly. I read a book from Nelson Searcy who said church starts should go big, go quick or go home. (My version of his words.) My experience has been different. The pre-launch should go slow, methodical, and with God driven purpose. I feel like I am building something. Everyone who has followed Fig Tree up to this point is experiencing the skeleton. The skeleton is important because it tells the body of the creation how it can and cannot move. The skeleton gives purpose. On March 16th we will finally meet the people who will put meat on these bones and get them moving in ways that are amazing. If I did not have the Simeonesk patience and anticipation, I never would have let the spirit guide my movements to get me this far. Anna lived her life in expectation. I say this because she was a prophet. Anyone who truly thinks they are receiving a message from God does not carry themselves like the plan will not happen. These people are confident in their call. These people can make the 'average' person uncomfortable. They live outside the ordinary into the realm of extraordinary. They know what tomorrow brings but they don't exactly know how it is going to happen. It wasn't that Anna anticipated the possibility of a savior, she expected it. The Gospel writer in Luke liked to pair male stories with female stories, therefore, we have Simeon and Anna. I say, sometimes we need Anna's to help us be like Simeon. We need to hear from people who can expect the truth so we can then anticipate the results. Either way, it is not immediate gratification. Taking the easy way out is almost always the wrong choice. Even if your story is a road side conversion, the work after the blinding light is a lifetime endevore. We need to learn the joy and wonder of the waiting game. If we can stop seeking life in our timing and start accepting it on God's time, we can allow the Spirit to move us to see God's plan. God doesn't always do things quickly. God does things right. Isaiah 12 CEB We may give up on God, but God will never give up on us. We may say 'no,' but God keeps pushing us in the right direction... No matter how much we ignore, deny, loathe or crucify our God, God will always try to relate to us. We can only taste the fruits of our labor because of that abundant grace. In that we should find joy. Where does joy live? As a child I always understood Christmas Joy in relation to presents. The more presents I had under the tree, the more joy I was going to experience on Christmas day. I ultimately realized I was wrong. Even the few years I went home with a bag full of stuff, I never found my joy under the tree. I believe to understand Christmas joy we must turn first to the bible. No, I am not going to immediately talk bout the birth of Jesus, and I am not talking directly about the Isaiah passage. I want to go all the way back to Genesis, with the story of Abraham and Issac.(I am linking to my Abraham and Issac sermon here.) Abraham was about to sacrifice or kill his son, the future of the people of Israel, as an offering to God when an angel tells him to stop. Instead, there was a ram caught in a thicket. The angel tells Abraham to use that for sacrifice instead of his son. Abraham named the mountain where all this took place, "God will provide." Thinking about today, what does that mean? Does God provide abundantly, or just enough? The answer lies in what God is providing. If God is providing for our earthly needs it is always just enough. A ram for sacrifice was just enough. Manna from heaven was just enough. The widow's jar that fed her son, a prophet and herself through famine was just enough. Any more could have spoiled the gift or them. If God is providing for our spiritual needs it is always in abundance. By God we are loved abundantly. We may give up on God, but God will never give up on us. We may say 'no,' but God keeps pushing us in the right direction. It is in abundant love we should find our Christmas Joy. It is Christmas Joy I pull from Isaiah 12:1. I hear it because God gives abundantly to the Israelites- abundant grace; abundant love. Because of that there is abundant joy which should erupt on our end from this verse. See, we get caught up with the 'stuff' of Christmas, as if objects had the power to bring us joy. If that were true God would always give of our physical need in abundance. But, all that would do is spoil the gift or us. That is why things like manna come to us as just enough. Like I said before, the joy I felt at Christmas wasn't found under the tree, but around it. It was God's abundant love personified through my family and friends that brought the true joy of Christmas home. Come to think about it, we spend Christmas celebrating the birth of a savior, God made flesh, and we celebrate in joy. Why? Because the birth of Jesus was an act of abundant love. That abundant love was made real through the creation of a family: Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. No matter how much we ignore, deny, loathe or crucify our God, God will always try to relate to us. We can only taste the fruits of our labor because of that abundant grace. In that we should find joy. |
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