-Rev Melissa Fain-
Today marks the conclusion to part one. I’m going to sum up everything leading up to this and include the links as I go:
Why I’m always doomed to failure
I wish I could translate my inflections into my words. I wish you could read my persistence, and know my desire. I know it’s a struggle to break past the antiseptic words to see the messy truth. I’m not setting up some “What-if” scenario. I’m in this terrible space. I could write academically; use the correct verbage, and somewhat hit those in their ivory towers. It wouldn’t change anything. To be accepted by the echelons of higher learning. I’m already using words that are too dense for the average reader, and I feel dirty even wearing them.
I could also write down to earth, and keep it real. I could throw around, “Girl!” and play the audience. Then I must dumb it down to the point of stupidity. A feel good blog is satiation only. In other words, it’s not meant to change you really. It’s only meant to make you feel good about the choices you’ve already made.
Which leaves me here. I have this desperate yearning to get the truth out in a world where no one wants to hear the truth. On one hand I will not write in a language others would have to translate to get to the masses just to be considered valid to those with higher education degrees. That’s the modern day Vulgate. There’s a disconnect between the knowledge and the church because the average person can’t read these dense tomes. On the other hand, if I’m not as empty and sweet as cotton candy, I’d better pack it up and go home. I can’t say things that require more than one reading; things that require meditation. I should pander to a side, get my views up, and get published for only saying things my readers want to hear.
My husband asked me, why am I still doing this? Because I see it, and in just seeing it one is forced to make the choice to ignore or act. Every time I encounter a broken individual I’m encountering Jesus, and I’m being asked to accept Christ into my life. Ignorance is my damnation.
Ghosting: Nothing has happened but everything is happening
Many who find themselves canceled by the church, ultimately also find themselves ghosted. First, what is ghosting?
Ghosting is a newish term with an old action. It is a way to avoid confrontation. Instead of one party engaging conflict in a healthy way, they completely cut off and ignore. No action, positive or negative is taken.
It leaves the person who was ghosted with nothing. They are left wondering why everything happened, and they don’t even get a proper closure to move on. The one(s) who did the ghosting are just fine. They avoided their healthy conflict to give negative conflict to the one(s) being ghosted. That’s why ghosting, the act of doing absolutely nothing, is actually everything.
Reasons the church ghosts
You almost always cannot change a system until you understand why something is happening. Anyone who can is suffering by unbelievable dumb luck. There are multiple reasons churches ghost. None of them are healthy, but we must understand them to be able to change their perspective.
To all the ghosts out there
More than likely if you’re reading this, I didn’t personally cause your woundedness. I wasn’t the one who withheld their vote, or refused to speak up. I wasn’t the one who back stabbed you, and I’m not the person who ghosted you. But I’m part of the problem. I’m a minister within this broken tradition. My hands are covered in your blood, and I refuse to wash it off. I want everyone to see it.
I’m sorry you were wounded by a system that was supposed to protect you.
I’m sorry you were spiritually killed in the process. They won’t say it, but I will.
Either they are a zombie church or their comfort is fattening them up for their eventual slaughter. Do not wish to be them. It is better to be spiritually dead. God can work with death. God can take our dry bones and make something new. We have become like new canvas’, ready for God’s masterpiece. When death has been reached, hope can be reborn.
I pulled some articles that might be helpful about ghosting:
Also, Brueggemann's Prophetic Imagination- always.