Just information- this website turns TEN on July 12th! I don't know how that makes me feel. I kinda hoped we'd be further along than we are.  I'm not sure what I'll write. I'm in prayer.

In 2006 two movies came out about magicians: The Prestige and The Illusionist. 
The Prestige stars Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, and Scarlett Johansson. 
The Illusionist stars Edward Norton, Jessica Biel and Paul Giamatti.

You all know I'm going to spoil The Illusionist, but you didn't come here for me to spoil The Prestige. This is basically what you need to know about both: Lower class person becomes a magician and has tricks an upper class person can't figure out. Upper class person then tries to destroy the lower class magician, and people die.

Sometime around 2012 I wanted to watch the Edward Norton version of the poor magician foiling the rich people, but couldn't remember the name. That's when I accidently watched The Prestige instead, and liked it.

Then, for this movie series, I thought, I wonder if that Christian Bale movie about magicians is available for free on TubiTv. That's how I found The Illusionist, and it became the movie for today instead of The Prestige.  I find it kinda funny that two movies about a similar subject of slight of hand, could confuse me into watching the opposite movie I'm looking for.

I do not think Jesus was just a fancy magician. Let me just get that one out of the way, so I don't get haters online telling me I'm an atheist in disguise or something to that effect. I do think Edward Norton's character shows us the power Jesus held to protect himself from tyrannical forms of government.

There's this scene, where Giamatti's character has arrested Norton's character under suspicion of fraud. Giamatti tells Norton to reveal to him the truth of the trick or he would be forced to take him to jail. Outside there are throngs of Norton supporters. Giamatti adds that the punishment would be far worse if those fans storm the building.

In this moment, Giamatti has set a trap. It's an either/or situation. Either Norton reveals his trick, thus destroying everything he's built up to this moment, or he keeps his secrets but spends the remainder of his days in jail.

That moment feels very much like the moments in the Bible the Pharisee's have used to trap Jesus. More than that, Giamatti feels very much like a Pharisee. I say this, because the Pharisee's had painting themselves into their own trap. Either they could support Herod and keep their shiny new temple with a leader who "supports" Judaism, or they could support Jesus and leave all their power.  We need to remember, it was lose/lose for the Pharisee's too. It was also lose/lose for Giamatti's character.

What Norton's character does in response to this trap, is also very Jesus. He steps outside and tells the crowd they were illusions. Now the crowd wouldn't believe him, and he knew that, but it gives a third option. Now Giamatti has no reason to keep Norton, and lets him go.

I said this so many times. The world isn't either/or. When an organization tries to herd you into a yes/no situation, those are almost always their lines they've drawn.  

What we see in The Illusionist is what Jesus' danger looked like having those stark choices laid before him in an attempt to destroy him. We can also see how a corrupt system can pit people who shouldn't be on opposite sides against one another. Maybe we should consider that one today. Perhaps?

This Sunday I'll be talking about Apollo 13.  They took it off at the end of June, so watch this video to prep for Sunday worship:
​https://youtu.be/ry55--J4_VQ

This summer we are going to the movies!
Today's movie is The Devil's Advocate. You can watch it free on TubiTv. Spoilers if you just want to read, and don't want to see it first.

Kevin Lomax is a hotshot defender in Gainesville, Florida. He has never lost a case.  As the audience meets him, that is all about to change. Thinking he was defending an innocent man, he realizes he is actually a pedophile. Disgusted, he recollects himself, swallows back the abhorrence, and goes on the win the case.

His wife, Mary Anne, is thrilled for him as they go out and celebrate another win.

While they are out, Kevin gets a card to go up to New York and help a firm pick a jury. The couple are ecstatic. This was the big break they were hoping for.

​That's when things do not go as planned. See, the head of the law firm is the literal devil. The couple is moved into a high rise that is filled with literal demons. Mary Anne catches on as the ladies sometimes reveal their demonic smiles. Whether this is on accident or on purpose, it causes her to second guess herself, and want to go home. They also convince her to let go of the best parts of herself. Her vibrant curly blonde hair. Her go-to attitude to own her first choice. Her very joy.

All this is happening, as the world is being given to Kevin. Only, with every choice he has to sacrifice a piece of this marriage.

This comes to a head when Mary Anne kills herself and he confronts the devil. Come to find out, Kevin is a child of the devil and the devil wants him to procreate to create the literal Anti-Christ. Mourning his lost wife, Kevin chooses to end his own life, taking away the devil's future.

That's when time rewinds to the moment he decided to win for the pedophile. Realizing his luck, he kisses his now alive wife, and recuses himself from the trial because he can no longer be his client's attorney. 

The last scene is a reporter asking for an interview. This choice will make Kevin big. Kevin relents. He'll do the interview the next day. As Kevin and Mary Anne leave, the reporter morphs into the devil. His favorite sin is vanity.

One of the many great failures of Christendom is the phrase, "the Devil made me do it," being taken and used so seriously. The phrase takes away accountability.  No longer is "sin" something we must understand and change in ourselves. Sin becomes something a devil made us do, and therefore, our failure was a moment of supernatural puppeteering, and that's all.

Meanwhile, the view of an Ancient Near East devil is not one who puppeteers unsuspecting good guys and gals at all. In fact, in Job, Satan is part of the divine council. It's Satan's job to test people and see how they react. In Job, the whole worldview was good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. Only good things had happened to Job, so it appears his friends believe he's a good person. When God takes everything away (and yes, it was God that took it away, not Satan), his friends believe Job must have done something wrong.  Satan only states something that might happen if everything is taken away from Job, then God takes everything away from Job.

What I love about Devil's Advocate is the devil doesn't technically do anything to Kevin. Conversely, he gives him good advice. He tells him to let the case go and take care of his wife.  At the end of the movie, Kevin tries to pin it on the devil, telling him the devil made him do those things. That's when he's corrected. No, the devil didn't make Kevin do anything. In actuality, the devil suggested he do the right thing. Kevin was the one who kept making the wrong choices.

Here's a crazy idea: What if, Kevin being a child of the devil, the devil actually was testing Kevin to keep him on the right path? This isn't the devil that sits in Hell trying to ruin humanity to stick it to the big guy. This is a devil who made some poor choices, and doesn't want anyone else to make the same choices.  The devil didn't need to restart time at the end of the movie. Maybe it was all a dream, a chance for a parent to help a child see what could happen if he followed the path he was taking. 

You might ask, why am I suggesting the devil is the good one in this movie?  It's because we, as a nation, have either turned our neighbor into an object, or villainized beyond their humanity. We need to be following someone who has hope in the unity and restoration of a new world. No, not the world we left. That is an old hope, and old hopes will never take us anywhere. Maybe that starts with seeing the humanity in the most villainized creature in Biblical canon: The devil.

And yes, I'm a Christian, and proud to be a Christian. Just realize- those you villainize today, was yesterday's neighbor. 

This coming week's movies:

7/3 Worship: Family Man
7/5 Meditation: The Illusionist

​Remember, this can be found to watch for free on TubiTv.

Before I begin, this movie is free to watch on multiple streaming services from YouTube to Redbox.  Find the one you like, and go see it before you read what my opinion.

Also- if you read this and haven't watched the movie... that's on you. Spoilers from here on out.

This is a movie based on a book, written by Alexander Dumas.
When the movie came out, I loved it. In my high school days, I'd read the books of the movies I really liked. If you are trying to get into reading, this is a great way to go.  It's like the training wheels of reading. You already have the mental image of how something looks, because you saw the movie. Now I typically do the opposite. I'll read the book first, and then watch the movie. The book is often better than the movie anyway.

When Man in the Iron Mask came out, I read Dumas' book. I can't tell you what was different from the movie. It was so long ago, it all just blends together. I can say, I remember enjoying the book.  I can also say, since I know I read the book, that must mean I liked the movie.

I was drawn to how Leonardo DiCaprio was able to be both hated and loved in the same movie. It felt like two different characters.  

I also REALLY loved The Three Musketeers (1993). In my mind, Man in the Iron Mask felt like a sequel to that specific version of The Three Musketeers.

All that in mind, I'm not as sold today.

All the women in the movie serve to move the men's narrative forward. With the exception of the queen, all the women are tools, not people. None of the women have agency to move the plot of the story forward.  The choices of the men are the choices of the women. 

Christine, for example: Her entire journey was pre-determined by the men around her. Raoul loves her, so he is going to propose.  The king wants her, so he gets Raoul killed to take her as a mistress. Her only agency was choosing to kill herself.

Notice who was mourned in this movie. The men. Raul and D'Artagnan.
Notice who is completely forgotten about once she jumps from the window: Christine.  Not even Athos, Raul's father, seek to free her from her gilded cage in the name of Raul. As far as the story is concerned, Raul had an object the king wanted, the killed off Raul to get that object. Then, when Christine kills herself, it shows the king doesn't know how to take care of his things.

The book was written in the 1660s, and the movie was made in the late 1990s. 
I'm not going to put modern feminism on Alexander Dumas. 
​I am going to compare this to David and Bathsheba to make a point.

There are some clear parallels between David and Bathsheba and King Louis and Christine.

King sees pretty girl. 
Pretty girl is already promised to a man.
King calls man to war, and man's duty to king leads to him getting killed on the front line.
King takes pretty girl as his own.

Do you know what's true of this story, whether it's King Louis or King David?
It's not the pretty girl's story.

No matter how you see the Bible, the inerrant Word of God, the inspired Word of God, or a bunch of stories of fiction, it's clear who's story this is: David's. 

That means it is not our place to see what Bathsheba did right or wrong. Bathsheba is a tool, a thing, in this story. She is a prize. David is the person in this story. 

I actually saw a post yesterday (which I'd share here, but I don't have permission from the original poster) where he was recounting a sermon where Bathsheba knew what she was doing, and she was trying to lure the King to her bed. Nothing even alludes to that conclusion.

Don't make Bathsheba the main character in your Biblical narrative to write off what David did. The prophet doesn't chastise her in the story, he chastises  David. That means, God saw David as being in the wrong.

If you want to write about Bathsheba write to mourn the loss of her personhood. Then look at Christine in Alexander Dumont's book and realize in the 1600's women still didn't have strong agency. Then look at Christine in Man in the Iron Mask, and realize we still couldn't write women as anything but tools in the late 1990's. 

Then look at now. Like seriously look at now.  We are just now attempting to write stories where the focus on a woman isn't to raise up or help validate a man. Right now, we're not doing it great. Most of our female leads are glorified man-face. In other words, they read like they were written for a guy, and they put a gal in it's place.

Looking at Christine, I see Bathsheba a little different. Christine didn't fight the King because she already knew she was powerless. She does what she does because it will help her take care of her family. Wouldn't that be a reason Bathsheba would do whatever King David asked? Wouldn't that make David even worse? He's willing to leverage Bathsheba's relationships in order to get what he wants? See? I can play that game too. Read into the subtext to understand motivations. The difference is, I'm looking at the one without power, and sympathizing with her plight. Maybe we should do more of that when we read the Bible. After all, it was Bathsheba's line God chose. God often chooses the least of these to be part of the greater narrative. 

This Sunday's movie will be Overboard, the 1987 version. It's free on multiple platforms. 
See you then!

From the moment it hit the theaters I have loved the movie Galaxy Quest. Not only does it capture the essence of Star Trek, but it is just good storytelling at its core. 

At the beginning the story we see our supporting character, Alexander Dane, completely and totally lost. They are at a convention, where the throngs of fans are there for them. Only, in his mind, they are not there for all of them. They are really there for John Nesbit, who played the lead character of Captain Jason Quincy Taggart. 

In Alexander's mind, his entire career was a complete and total waste. This is a fact the entire cast is aware of, because it is part of the drill that Alexander will have a melt down at some point during an event. He hates his character and his stupid chatch phrase: "By Grabthar's Hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged."

Poor Alex is in the throws of a true lament.  He is mourning what can never be, while seeing  no hope for his future situation.  As the story progresses, and the Thermians take them to their ship, his lament continues. We see him save the day, while his co-star Jason, gets the praise.  He is completely and totally lost, finding no value in anything he has done, is doing, or will do.

Meanwhile, one of the Thermians, Quellek, attempts to bond with Alex. Quellek's favorite character from "the historical documents" was Dr. Lazarus. He modeled his life after him.

Alexander spends most of the movie treating him like he would one of this fans. Not well. He doesn't think highly of anyone who would love the character of Dr. Lazarus. In his mind, he's better than Dr. Lazarus, and he doesn't like the character.  Anyone who would like that character clearly didn't understand good drama.

Here's where everything changes. When the big baddie comes back, and tries to suffocate all the Thermians in their quarters, it is Quellek (using a technique he got from Dr. Lazarus in "the historical documents") that escapes being held in the room with his shipmates. 

This is the first time Alexander can see he might have been part of something important. But, it's not until they freed the Thermians that everything changes. Quellek get's shot, and is dying. Alexander is holding him as Quellek exclaims in death that it has been the greatest honor to work next to the great Dr. Lazarus. 

This Thermian, in his death, was first showing that even in the darkest places on can find praise. He was also giving Alexander meaning to everything. Quellek taught Alexander praise, and as a result Alexander says the line and means it to a dying Quellek, "By Grabthar's Hammer, but the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged." 

Our culture shuns the darkness and negativity. 
Bad things happening is not a sign that God doesn't love you.
Bad people getting good things are not a sign that they have God's blessing.
Praise not tied to some form of lament leading up to it, is hollow. 

Genuine praise, as seen from the outsider, doesn't look like anything has changed.  
Notice that Alexander was still the supporting cast member on a show that would never find it's way on the Shakespearian Stage. It wasn't the situation that changed (that was clearly more dangerous after Quellek's death). It was his view of the situation that changed. He suddenly saw purpose and meaning in what he had been doing all along.

One of my favorite IRL events that help me understand why it's so easy to get a group to do the wrong thing, and why it's so difficult to change a system:

Free to stream on Red Box- I will be preaching on "The Experimenter"
​https://www.redbox.com/ondemand-movies/experimenter?queryId=d1ab61b5c9cd9dc2

Gotta a movie you wanna me to consider theologically?
Is it on a free streaming service?

Comment below and over the next two months I might make it a sermon topic or a meditation!

Some free sites:
FreeVee
Crackle
Pluto
Tubi

To get us started, we'll start with Galaxy Quest. It's free to watch on FreeVee.

Next Tuesday, I'll post a meditation on the character Alexander Dane, or Dr. Lazarus (so pay attention to his character arc as you are watching it.)

On Tuesday, I'll let you know what's coming Sunday and for the next meditation. 
Most importantly, if you don't tell me what you want me to watch, I'll watch what I want to watch! It's a win/win for me! It can be a win for you too. Comment below!

Every time I go to write I feel this mania.  It is part of the reason I haven't written anything. (That, and the previous post I wrote, but never shared on social media.) Oh, and the National Zombie Church Apocalypse we've just entered. I'm not going to say I'm through speaking to those inside the brick and mortar church, but I'm not jumping at the bit to talk directly to them.

Consider this one a freebee.  

I'm tired  of reading post after post that basically begin, "But why my church?" The church congregant couldn't understand when they had great programs, and a loving congregation. Why would someone intentionally not go to something like that?

Let me throw it down for you as simply as I can.

I have always had a problem with monasticism. I shouldn't. It's not like I have that sage leader that suggested I should be skeptical of the monastic lifestyle. Nothing in my church career have I had reason to not appreciate monks and nuns. (In my church career, but I'll get back to that.)

Last week, talking about Church abuse, I felt I had a Paradox I needed to revisit. How could I suggest someone leave the Church when they are victimized by the Church, but I'm not cool with monks and nuns separating themselves from the world?

I'm just going to say this. I'm not looking for sympathy, and I don't want you to be mad a the parties involved. I spent a few years of my life in a neglectful home. First it was my mother's home, as she found dependency in an abusive drunk.  Then in the home of a grandmother that was slowly losing her mind to the drugs that were meant to save her life. 

As an adult I can see what my child-brain couldn't. The church wanted me to escape my neglect, not solve it. They didn't want me bringing it into the sanctuary, and warping the communion table with the truth of life.  

I dislike monasticism because we were created to live this life, not escape it. 
The Church, at the exact same time, became little temporary escape hatches for life. The only way for this to work is to ostracize those who bring reality into her building. And don't get me wrong, most of it has been unknowingly. 

Maybe the space set aside for worship is sacred, but the Church is life. When you cut out life, you create this fake-utopia. 

Last note on pulling yourself out of context with people who think exactly like you: I cried every time I came home from Summer Camp. First, I tried to bring my reality to camp every single year and no one wanted real. They wanted their fake real.  Second, it was still an alluring trick to bring a camp full of people who believed the same thing together and pretend Utopia for a week. It was even worse when I had to come home and live in reality again.

How are we the Body of Christ again? We are all members? That's right! We are all connected. The second we shift blame is the second it becomes worse. The second we ignore and deflect is the second it becomes worse.

#NotAllChristians! Amiright? 

You have no sympathy from me. 

I may have left the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) but I didn't leave the Church. I sure as hell didn't leave God. 

I do believe we need to be in community with one another as Christians.  That's where we are so desperate to save the identity of institutionalized church, we are losing everyone in the process.

Church abuse is my abuse.
Church abuse is your abuse. ANY CHURCH abuse.  

You were so insistent of being outside the world, the worst parts of the world came to you.

I cannot say this loud enough, so here I go saying it again for the dullards in the back:

I want to preach with more than the traditional means to do so.  I want to preach through narrative, and paint. I want to rethink worship from the ground up. 

About a month ago I went to God in prayer and just cried. I don't want to give it up. 

That might sound silly. Like, who's asking me to give something up? More than you think. 
You know how it feels when I get families who tell me, "I'm looking for [insert traditional mode of worship here]"? I know why they're saying it. I can't give them what they crave, and they're explaining why they have chosen not to take all this seriously. 

That's a very alluring drug. 

If I just do what everyone else is doing, then I'll have they physical help.
I'm already saying things most local pastors are not saying, and it makes sense. If I just put the other stuff up and away, then I'll finally be accepted as an actual minister.

At the very same time, going into the workforce as something other than a minister has it's allure too. This summer Fig Tree will have existed for a decade. That's a long time to do any form of internet ministry and not throw one's hands up in the air in defeat.  It's not wrong for me to want stability.  

The above picture was me on Easter Sunday.  Let me tell you about this picture.

• The drawing-  I sat down and did that right before worship.  The stone is filled with images of nature. The idea is that Christ defeated death, and by it's very act nature itself. The star has become a symbol for God's promise, and the promise is revealed in the rolling away of the stone. That drawing, all by itself preaches.
• The rock- I made the finger labyrinth back in 2020, as I was exploring worship in new ways. It fits how I feel about Fig Tree as a whole. I have never turned away from the call, but there are times where it feels like I'm walking away. It's a reminder that the journey doesn't happen in a straight line.
• The Stole- I spent 8 months, an hour or two every night, hand knotting that stole. It was a daily act of prayer. That one piece, if I just sold it for minimum wage, would be worth thousands. It was created to be a piece of Fig Tree. I've worn it for brick and mortar churches, and it felt wrong. I wear it for Fig Tree, and know it belongs.  Like so many items I create, it contains a piece of my soul. 

These above pieces are an act of worship.
It's all an act of worship.
Writing is an act of worship. 
Creating music (which I've also done) is an act of worship.
My art is an act of worship.

When I think to all the times people tried to shoehorn me into their definition of what they thought I was, well, it brought me to tears.  Because I can see it now.  I have an extremely close and incredibly diverse relationship with God. To sever any of those connections would be heartbreaking. I can't give it up.

I used to live to make sure I got a post out a week. I'm incredibly self motivated, and it was blasphemy if I couldn't get to the computer and consider something from a Spiritual/Biblical way.

I'm still self motivated, but where I'm feeling motivated is different. 

These past two weeks, I felt a deep desire to give a book I've written one more epic edit. The whole time, feeling like the time was running short to get that done. 

There are days when I have an image in my brain and I just have to create it. I'm feeling like something huge is coming for me, and if I don't get things in order, I'll regret it later.

It's the same feeling I had a Christmas, when I knew I needed to recreate ornaments for the tree.  It was a completion of sorts, and I've made peace with it.

Just the realization that I need to get it done before it's too late.  What is it too late for? I have no earthly idea. I just feel I'm running out of time, and I need to wrap some things up.  It's an urgency that takes me away from the meditations.

My drive has not diminished, it's just focused a bit differently.  I'm still here. I can't give it up. Don't make me give it up.