The Dark Before the Light

1 Lord, I have so many enemies!
    So many are standing against me.
2 So many are talking about me:
    “Even God won’t help him.” Selah[a]
3 But you, Lord, are my shield!
    You are my glory!
    You are the one who restores me.
4 I cry out loud to the Lord,
    and he answers me from his holy mountain. Selah
5 I lie down, sleep, and wake up
    because the Lord helps me.
6 I won’t be afraid of thousands of people
    surrounding me on all sides.
7 Stand up, Lord!
    Save me, my God!
In fact, hit all my enemies on the jaw;
    shatter the teeth of the wicked!
8 Rescue comes from the Lord!
    May your blessing be on your people! Selah
Psalm 3:1-8 CEB

-Rev Melissa Fain-

(Soft trigger warning for depression.)

Being able to read the whole story, and having read the whole story year after year, we forget how spiritually dark today really is. 

As a camper I enjoy the predawn night. The campfires are out, the stars seem to glow in ways I couldn't see before going to bed. At that point I'm used to the dark. I've lived a whole night with it. Holy Saturday, in contrast is a quick and deepening darkness.

Now depression? That's a feeling and a darkeness I am not comfortable with, nor do I want to re-experience. It does trick the mind into thinking happiness and hope will never return. All appears lost. 

I think many Americans can connect with the Disciples this Saturday before Easter. Their hope is dead. Jesus, the one they thought was going to take down the system and become the warrior king of scripture, didn't lift a finger to fight and died on a cross. On Saturday, not only could none of them understand what was coming, they were completely lost in the darkness. What do we do with that today?

The Disciples, the ones who saw Jesus face to face, and witnessed his ministry were scared. We, as biblical readers, know there is a blinding light on the other side of their darkness, but they did not. This day is here to remind us the truth about darkness: The darkness does not take away or destroy the things that give us hope and love, it simply hides it from view. God is always there, and always present. Just because you can't see it, doesn't make it any less true. 

If this particular message seems to be speaking directly to you, I'm so sorry you are dealing with the weight of depression. My personal experience lasted about two years, and part of my journey was being honest about it. Please seek out people with spiritual flashlights to help you see what has always been there. You are not alone, and the light is right around the corner.